Supreme Commander life lesson #1
Today I would like to sidestep the cursory issues of no-rush customs, the implications of T2 point defenses leading targets and why Grokmoo cannot properly differentiate between energy generators and mass fabricators, to address a far more pressing issue. How can I use Supreme Commander to pick up women? Surely these skills are transferable somehow, you ask? This is the strategy guide Gnug215 is afraid to write. Perhaps he’s trying to hog all the Gnugettes to himself? Anyway, without further ado (what else to do about this whole to do?) I give you the Supreme Commander Talk Beginners Guide to Supreme Commander and The Opposite Sex.
Adjacency Bonus
Placing complimentary buildings next to each other in the game gives certain bonuses. This works in life too, but in reverse. What you need to do is find some really ugly people and become their friends. Then when you stand next to them in the bar you appear more attractive by proxy.
Prioritized Targeting
We won’t be getting prioritized anti air turrets till the next patch but women have been equipped with said technology for thousands of years. You’ll want to approach in a large pack of individuals to divert fire and avoid being shot down at range.
Balancing Resources
The skills you have acquired here will be vital. Hitting that fine line between getting your date drunk enough to lose all inhibitions and passing out entirely can prove surprisingly delicate.
It Wasn’t Your Fault
If you lose in Supreme Commander it was because of the siege bots are overpowered, your opponent was using cheap tactics or you accidentally hit self destruct. Remember, she’s in the wrong.
Keep Your Commander Safe
I simply cannot stress how important this is. Always keep your commander protected. A tech 2 shield should be adequate but you may want to go for one of the more expensive ones in case you take a particularly heavy hammering.
May 18th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool :)
May 18th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Good stuff! 10/10
May 18th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
Nice one, Molloy!
Question for Cyde: What are the rules for posting non-English? I mean, I don’t want to write an entire comment or article in Japanese, but if someone wants to say something in Spanish or Japanese or something, is that okay with Cyde Weys? I’ve seen some site that are very strictly English-only and people get banned for saying anything off-language.
May 18th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Commander at the front lines:
As we’ve seen in the game, it is often a good idea to keep your commander on the front lines only for the first 10 minutes or so of the encounter. When it comes to the opposite sex, however, this approach is not appropriate. Having your commander out too early could be disastrous if the opposite party isn’t prepared for it. Making good use of intelligence is really the only way to know for sure when it is ready to leave the safe haven that is your base. So remember, wait to take your commander out – avoid premature evacuation.
Terrible… I know, but I couldn’t resist.
May 18th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
LOL
May 18th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Hey honey, what’s your policy on Support Command Units?
May 18th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Ah Molloy, You need to ‘Shimmer’ over and start an ‘Evensong’ before she gets a new ‘Patron’. No use bragging about your ‘Galactic Colossus’ when she would get a ‘Shocker’ when you tried to ‘Banger’, you ‘Deceiver’. You would need ‘Plan B’ or else the ‘Stork will be delivering to the ‘Cradle’ I never said a word about the Fatboy.
May 18th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Hey, Keri. I remember you. Saw your photo yeeeaaars ago. You were something of a TA pinup. I’d pattern you any day. Let’s log into central consciousness and never look back.
May 18th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
TA had pin-ups?! Geesh, I was looking at the wrong fansites back then …
May 18th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
BTW Keri that “just a regular night” piece was either from PC Gamer UK or PC Zone magazine. I forget which.
May 18th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Well I hope you weren’t looking at TAUniverse Cyde Weys. Around 1999/2000 or so a chick joined the newsposting ranks of TAUniverse. This was before I really got involved in a big way so I missed the whole incident. She went by the name of Morpheuz or something similar. Anyway, she wasn’t much of a writer but used to post pretty provocative pictures of herself on the forum from time to time and gathered a rather loyal following. She would post hanging upside down on monkey bars wearing short shorts and such.
Anyway, long story short one of the site admins Aslan blew the whistle on him/her. He was somewhat of a connoisseur of all things pornographic and had come across said same pictures on some teen website.
After this incident there was a flurry of copy cat responses and everybody was very suspicious of any woman in the TA community that wasn’t AMRAAM.
May 18th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
ya, i remember Morpheus (i think that was her name), but to be honest, i thought he WAS a girl. At that time a few girls were going to start an all girl TA Clan. That’s where my old TA name came from, (TaGirl_Keri) Dianne from Montreal & Jenny Core are the only two I can remember atm. However Morpheus scandal came along and we decided against it. Bah Molloy, you were always a Clone, never a Pattern. Aslan a Pr0N connoisseur? Well I never would have guessed. (after he tried to chat me up on irc Gnug)
May 19th, 2007 at 12:42 am
LOL Nice. Pretty damn funny. Made my morning. Thanks!
May 21st, 2007 at 11:27 am
There was an all girl TA clan at one point. Only had two or three members. It was an offshoot of KING called QUEEN.