Supreme Commander Talk

And now, for something completely different, we present a column by Llemon, a friend of Grokmoo and I. She’s never actually played the game, so some accuracy may be sacrificed, but I must say, this is a pretty damn good column for someone who’s only seen the game being played over someone else’s shoulder. She even illustrated her post with a screenshot made in Microsoft Paint (because she doesn’t have the game). Now that’s dedication.

Tech 2 Tactile Missile Launchers. What can I say about these extraordinary items? Well, first of all, they are quite fun to utilize. Secondly, they make pretty colors on the computer monitor. And really, isn’t that what Supreme Commander is all about? If pretty colors are not important in that game, then I don’t know what is.

To start from the beginning, here is how one would use Tech 2 Tactile Missile Launchers. First, one must already be in an active game of Supreme Commander. Of course, one must next obtain the above missile launchers. In order to do this, the player must be at least a level 68 archer, strength at 77, and wisdom of no more than 50. Tech 2 Tactile Missile Launchers are located on the Grenadine map, in the basement of the building closest to the bottom center. Talk to the maid, and she will allow you to pass and take the launchers.

Once you have the Tech 2 Tactile Missile Launchers, use is a piece of cake. For optimal exploitation, there must be the following layout: One’s own guys must be in the upper left corner of the screen. They must either be blue or red, preferably the latter. Next, there must be enemies in the lower right part of the screen. If one’s own players are blue, the enemies must be white; if they are red, then the enemies must be black. If the enemies are any other color except purple, the Tech 2 Tactile Missile Launchers requires extremely advanced moves, ones that only extremely advanced players are capable of, and which are beyond the scope of this text. DO NOT ATTEMPT WITHOUT THE PROPER COLORS. If one does without the proper training, the Tech 2 Tactile Missile Launchers will backfire! Beware! In the rare case the enemies happen to be purple, this article recommends that the player turns off his or her computer immediately, to avoid combustion.

Assuming the setup is proper, one next clicks on the toolbar containing the sexy launchers. Place them near the center of your camp. The more you use, the better, as long as you have the cash monies for it. The recommended number generally agreed upon of launchers to have that is ten to twelve. If there is a lack of space within the camp, it is usually okay to layer the launchers on top of each other. The color(s) of the Tech 2 Tactile Missile Launchers depends on how well one uses them. The better they are used, the prettier they will look. For example, the more optimal position they are placed, the more brightly they will glow. And the closer to the recommended number of launchers, the more “rainbow” the launchers will be in appearance. Only the best players know that the launchers fade from red to orange to yellow to green, etcetera when they are used in the best way possible.

Now that the Tech 2 Tactile Missile Launchers have been obtained and set up, they are ready for use. Simply click on a launcher, or group of launchers, and click on the enemy. Assuming the launchers were set up optimally, the missiles will shoot up like fireworks. The player’s monitor will be covered with rainbow colors that will soon shower down on top of the enemy, scalding and burning the men and making them run in circles. With Tech 2 Tactile Missile Launchers, it is impossible for a player to lose.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 4th, 2007 at 6:22 pm by Cyde Weys and is filed under Humor. Keywords: Tags: Humor, Supreme Commander, tactical missile. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.